Now I’ve heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah


Probably every one has heard this song at one time or another. I have even heard that a few don’t like it.  Well it has been heard by me several times this month. TV, radio, internet. The first time ever was in the Shrek movie. The words are strange in a way, is the singer mocking his lover, himself. the Lord. Or is he coming to a revelation that we struggle every day. Big things and small. I have no idea how Cohen feels about God or religion. I don’t think I even care but this song does touch a “chord” that runs deep in everyone if they are truthful.  Even atheist cares about something. Family, job, pets. And If we are real with ourselves we know we always fall short of the goals we think that should be obtained. We try to love freely and say and do the right things. But I know that we all fail sometimes. Usually that is from some sort of selfishness. Sometimes we fail and the hurt runs deep. But if we know the Lord we also know even when we are hurt or have hurt some one special that the Lord has for us a love that is  deeper and wider than any hurt we have received. Jesus is alive and well. His love is real, alive and well.  He loves for who we are right now. We don’t have to change a thing. I have been a Christian for over 40 years now. The first year was spent trying to change my life so I could be a better person. After a long time Jesus made me realize that He does the changing. He does it at his pace and in His time. Some times those thing are quickly taken away. No more ever, others will always be with us no matter how hard we pray or try. Not that He couldn’t take them away but He wants us to depend on Him. If we had no shortcomings then we wouldn’t need Him. So we need to remember those things. God loves us, always has, always will. We will get stronger in Him the more we rely on Him. We will always fall short, then we go back to square one, God loves us.

August the longest month of the year. I know it has 31 like a few others but August I think sneaks in some extra hours some how. The days are still long, they are hot, and it is a time when I think every one wants  a change. In September football starts up. School has been going a couple of weeks but it isn’t until September that I feel like school has started. Hunting season is near but it is still too hot to be in the woods. Fishing is slow and I am waiting for cooler days to fish and catch some big ones. Water melons and cold drinks are the best things about August.

Feel free to comment, Ben


August 1

Well I skipped July again. The only thing I did  exciting was catch one large mouth bass from a pond. 3 hours of fishing. One fish.  But it was the first fish in Arkansas that I have caught in years.

Today is the 16 anniversary of my son Marc passing away. I won’t go into details but it was from cancer and it was very hard on family and friends.  It is very easy to remember the good things about Marc.  His ear to ear smile. His bounce in his walk and his very funny humor. Marc never was mean but he did like to pull pranks sometimes at others expense.  He toilet tissued  our neighbors trees one time then he tried to push it on some one else. Well we had no proof but I knew the person he blamed wouldn’t do it without help.  He was very good at sports. Any he played he seemed to excel in. T ball through Little League. He made several all star teams. He was even better at basketball. He had an excellent shot and was quick enough to play good defense. It was early on that step dad was out of his league.  His later years he played some basketball but loved golf even more. I cannot say how good he was because he never played in competition. He played against the course and himself as golf should be played.  I would play that also and had even less of a chance of beating him.  In fact if I beat any of his friends I was very happy. Yes I did keep my exuberance in check.

The most amazing about Marc was his inner strength. Oh, it was shown at times in ball games and other things that had happened in life, but it was his bout with cancer that it  shown like a beacon. From the very beginning he had strength that came through. We all had high hopes at first and we all thought it would go away. But as time wore on instead of letting it get him down to depression he was always ready to tackle any problem that arose. Now I won’t say he never got sad. He did, but what 14 or 15 year old wouldn’t. His amazing attitude never stayed sad. He was always fighting, smiling and good to people.

The world lost a very special person that day. I lost a very special son.  But the only thing that helps now is the FACT I know he is with Jesus waiting for us to join him.

I have shed a few tears writing this I am not ashamed to say. It has been a while since I have expressed my feelings about him.I miss him a lot. Thanks  Ben C.