Yes, I borrowed that from NCIS. It is short for”if you are going through hell, keep on going”. Ducky told Jimmy that in last weeks episode. I am not going through the whole show so don’t worry about that. It is more of what I am putting myself through. No, my life isn’t collapsing. Far from it; but that trimming needs to keep on and I some how need to buck up. I feel so stupid at times knowing what I am supposed to do but keep on doing the wrong thing. I am so glad I have a merciful God that has an endless amount of grace. As you may have noticed this is my third time to write this month. I only do it if I feel the urge. I know these aren’t always great and may be boring at times but they help me get a lot off my chest. And that is the reason I write, as a stress remover and a way to express my feelings at the moment. I am alone most of the time. I have no children to yell at, no wife to put me in my place and no dog to talk to when I need to talk. So I write. The computer only tells me when I spell a word wrong.
I got to see my granddaughter this past weekend. First time in 15 years. Too long and sad of a story to put down on this but I am very grateful she let me meet meet her. It was 20 minutes during a work break for her. Not enough time to make up for 15 years but I soaked up every minute. She is a very smart senior at Harbor, and a pretty redhead. She has even written a book. She also likes to talk and does it rapidly. I guess most girls her age do. Plus she may have been a little stressed also. She has made my month even with all the trials going on.
About time for bed. I hope you are all well. Ben.
I told a friend the other day I was going through a rough patch. And I thought I was. But now I think it was more than that. I maybe being trimmed as the verses in John 15. The verses about the vineyard that has to be trimmed to produce good fruit. Well I feel like I am being trimmed. In those verses the Holy Spirit comes and trims away the stuff that is useless and doesn’t produce good fruit. Now we all would like to think that means dead things or vine. But that isn’t all that is cut off. There are live branches that get cut and trimmed also. I don’t think a vine of grapes feels pain or anxiety when being trimmed. We do. Yes I said we. I believe we all have done things that He has trimmed away and it hurt. Not necessarily because we want to keep doing what we were doing but because we couldn’t rid ourselves of it. Either we didn’t have the nerve to do it or we never got rid of the right branches. When the Holy Spirit works He never misses or cuts away the wrong vine. He always get the correct ones and He never takes too much or too little. Every week this month has been hard but good. It has been hard because I let things get out of hand that I thought I could or thought I was handling, areas of my life that should have died a long time ago. I let them back in. But God’s grace is always there for us when we need it most. Now I need to repent. A word that I have used on blogs on the net to others. Now I need to step up[ but that still means relying on the Holy Spirit.]
The Good is that I have seen great things happen all around me. Healings and other things that only God could do. But I have also heard sermons and been in small groups where God was trying to get me ready for this trimming I am receiving. I have never felt like God had left me or was losing my faith or salvation. Sermons on grace, redemption, faith. All the things that I have needed to hear.
You may ask why I would put this here, on a site where every one can read it. It is to let every one know that God loves you just as you are. Whether you have done things lately that is truly gross or if you are being trimmed like me and going through a hard time. God loves us. I ask that you pray for me and let me know either by FACEBOOK messenger or call me and I will pray for you. You don’t have to tell me why or what you are going through. Just say pray for me. I will.
I guess every new year we wonder what the new year will hold. Will it be as good as the last? It has got to be better than the last. Will this be my last? Yes, a new year can be a frightening experience , a challenging one, a despondent one or a joyous happening that will last the whole year. I have no special eye into the new year, to see what is ahead. I try to take them one day at a time like most every one else. But I have a feeling that 2017 will be a challenge to a lot of us no matter where we are. We have a new president. To some that is a great thing and to others it is a cause of fear. Trump is not the man I had hoped for. Yes I do think he is better than the other but we will find out soon if that is true or not. I do not put my trust in the president of the United States no matter who it is. I have not seen one yet that was great all the time or who I thought did what was right every time. I do not put my trust in republicans or democrats. They are both are flawed and will let every one down sooner or later. We have all learned not to trust Congress any time. They will not bring happiness or love. They will not heal the sick or cloth the naked or feed the poor. They cannot heal the heart or get rid of racism, hate or mistrust. They cannot pick me up when I am at my lowest point or put me into the Heavenlies with joy,love or peace.
We will all go through rough times. Some do or will have health problems, others family or money troubles. But we should all know who to lean on, cry out too and shout for joy too. There is nothing to hard for Jesus. There is nothing too big or to small. For many of us we know that is true. Others you want to believe that but seem to have a hard time letting go of things and giving them over to Christ. Some will say I have but not seen anything come from it. To that I say did you want a part time fix or did you give Christ your whole heart. God is not something we can dial up and order or something Amazon has that if if the product didn’t do as we had hoped we can exchange it.
Many have difficulties of some sort and would like to see them go away. Sometimes they do. When they do be sure to give God the glory no matter if you think a miracle happened or not. Maybe a friend helped you out or you got money in the mail or a doctor gave you medicine that worked. God works in the small as well as the big. But Ben, you say I still have my problems or I lost some one close to me. I too have lost some very close to me. But I know that they are with Christ and waiting on me to be with them. He is God and will work the way He wants but He wants us to ask for the small and the big. I don’t care what church you attend or how you feel about God working in your life. A lot has to do with how you big you think God is. Whether He is something only for Sundays or He is Lord of every step you take and every breath you breathe. If you want a big God you must want Him all the time and you must ask for big things.
I guess I am getting preachy. Forgive me. This isn’t for any one special or any group. Today at my small church, I got an inkling of what is going to happen in my life and for my church. It is very exciting and I am looking forward to it. I will still be poor and waiting for God to heal my whole body. But until that day comes I will praise Him in the valleys and the mountain tops. I will shout unto the Lord the praise He deserves and I will dance as David danced with joy in my heart. Blessings to all. Look forward to 2017 with gladness because you have Jesus in your heart.