At what cost.

These past few days I have been madder than a stirred up hornet. Not any one has done anything to me but what I read what happened to some parents in England and the commenters that have said dumb and hateful things about these parents has got my dander up.

They had a 10 month old child born with a very rare and always fatal disease. I couldn’t spell it now but if you look up the story, you can find out what it is. What made me mad was some bureaucrats in England said this child was not worth the money to send to the US to get experimental treatment. It may have been too little too late but no one will ever know now.  Second part, the hospital told the parents he should die with dignity. Then they denied him going home to die. This really burns me.  I know what is is to have a son severely stricken with a disease. I know what it cost and what doctors can and cannot do. I lost Marc at 16 to cancer. He could have tried experimental treatments but he had gone through 2 1/2 years of chemo, radiation, and a 17 hour operation. The treatment would be more used as a treatment for others down the road. He had little chance. He said no. Everything in me said to try but I was not the one being tortured by all this ” helping” treatment. We took Marc home and a few weeks later he was gone.

Now the part that gets me riled up. So many people throw off life as though it has a $ sign to it. This person isn’t worth more than this amount of money. Garbage. every life is worth any amount of gold or diamonds. People will yell about a puppy or a wild animal and expect millions to be shelled out but not for a sick person. NO MORE TAX DOLLARS.  BS is what I say to all of them.  I know I am hollering in the wrong direction on here and not one of you have upset me. I just needed this to vent out of my system.  Maybe now I can fall to sleep. Take care. If for some reason you disagree with me on this point. Better not say anything to me about it.

Ben C



For the greater good.

A person usually hears those word on a movie or reading a book. To be honest I am not sure if I have been told those words in person.  If now I heard them I would probably look into their eyes and call them a liar. When those words are used it is usually in either a crime movie or a war movie.  Hopefully fiction. But it isn’t always fiction is it. How many hundreds of thousands of times has it been used through out history.  I guess you could say it started in the Garden. What lie did the serpent tell Eve? Go ahead it won’t kill you. It is for the better. So I guess we all have tried to do something along that line sometime in life. It boils down to selfishness.  When it comes to that can any of us say we are not guilty. I can’t.

Joseph was thrown in the pit and sold to slave traders for the his brothers selfish acts. The Pharaoh tried to kill all the male Hebrew children for the greater good of Egypt. Ramses tried to kill all the first born when Moses was an adult for the greater good.

King Saul did not obey the Lord and spared a king and queen plus the herds of cows and sheep for the greater good. God then told Samuel to find another king.

Herod the great killed the babes 2 years and younger for the greater good. His son Herod Antipas locked up John the Baptist for the greater good. Some say Judas betrayed Jesus for the greater good of Israel. That was surly the reason the Jewish leaders wanted him dead. And Pilate didn’t want a riot so he sent Him to the cross.

I could go on through out history telling of the lies people told themselves that their heinous ideas was for the better good. Probably every war in history was based on such lies.

Yes it is still happening every where we turn. The lbgt people think they are trying to force their life style every where for their greater good. I could put down several paragraphs about them alone but I won’t. Blm, KKK,ACLU, southern poverty law system, and of course the right to choose group, are all doing it for the greater good.

Well I have found only one that was selfless. His name was Jesus and his act of great kindness and love was for the better good of the whole world. But satan still has a strangle hold on many. Selfishness is still the rule of the earth sad to say. But we must spread the love, joy, and TRUTH that Jesus said to tell the world. It won’t always be accepted and many will hate us for it. But that is one of the main parts of our lives we must do.  It was a command.

So am I done ranting. for tonight but I was awakened in my soul to put this out. I am not pointing a finger at any of you just telling what is on my heart.  Ben



That’s what I am doing tonight. I have been hoping to be deeply inspired but it hasn’t come. It isn’t the first and probably not the last. Maybe a third of theses are of the top of my head. Probably looks like it to, I know.

I got to give my grand daughter her graduation card last weekend. I went to Springdale and visited a friends church. I don’t attend my home church on Mothers Day or Fathers Day. They have never done anything wrong but it is me and the sadness I feel.  More of a feeling sorry for myself which is dumb I know but it is what it is. My grand daughter was working but she took time to say hi and give me a hug. That is all I needed from her.

I haven’t heard from pastor Dave if he is going to let me have a Sunday morning or not. I turned in a good out line. At least I thought so. I am going to start in Genesis and end up in Revelation. Even some parts in between. Nothing earth shattering but as I said before I do feel like I need to do it. OutReach Center Church in the summer time is always a good time. We always have missionaries from around the world come in. Most were brought up in or started with the church. 25 five or more families. The second Sunday in July will be missionary weekend. Several will be speaking Friday night, Saturday and Sunday.

This September will be 45 years that my old church in Russelvillle started up. It started with 50 or more college students and a few married adults not in college. We were young, excited, proud, and green. All the people that helped plant that church are not attending there now. Some are with the Lord and others like me are spread all over the states. But the church is now over 400, I am pretty sure of that number. Definitely one of the largest in Russelville. Not bad for a few college Jesus Freaks.

I have caught a few small perch so far this summer. Which is more than the last several summers. I hope to catch a few catfish. They are easier to clean and easy to cook.

Stay cool and if you come to Siloam or close by let me know.  I would love to see old friends.

May I, May Flowers, May Pole, May be the Longest Moth of the YEAR.

May has been a decent month for me. I am moved in to my nice new apartment and settled in, for the most part.  I just figured out I use that term a lot. I hope it isn’t boring. All my closets are full and my kitchen drawers and cabinets full. Now I just need to remember where everything is.

May is graduation month. It is always an exciting time or it should be. I know a few local graduates from my church and a few from my friends in the area. There is one I have mixed feelings about. My grand daughter graduated from Harber in Springdale. A very high grade point and and a scholarship to a University. I think it will be Northwest in Bentonville but it might be the U of A.  Did I say she has written a novel and had it published and has started the second. The mixed feelings is that she was taken away from my daughter when she was 3. It was not my daughters fault. For 15 years I had no idea where she was but I prayed for her often. I was unable to attend the ceremony because of my bad back and that hurt also deep inside. I have yet to give her my card for her and hopefully giver her a hug. We are still in the process of getting to know one another.  She has a brother I haven’t seen yet but that is not my fault. A 15 year old with an attitude that needs adjusting sometimes.

May flowers are out and looking good. Several in my complex where I live have some out. All this rain has hurt the roses but I have seen some very nice ones. Every one needs to stop and smell the roses sometime. HMM. Sounds like a country song.

May poles.I haven’t heard of any one doing one for years. When I was in the 6th grade we did one at school. The music teacher put it on. We even had a Queen and I think a king.  It has been a few years since then. The king and queen reigned over the service while every one else had roles of colored paper hooked to a pole. We sang and hopped around it. It was very humiliating to a 6th grade boy.

Why does May take so long to get through. As I said it has been a decent month for me but it takes for ever to get through. August and May. they only have 1 extra day but it seems like 7.  August is like that because everyone is tired of the heat. But why May. Any suggestions.

All my baseball teams are doing lousy.  Unless 1 or 2 of them have a fantastic second half, this season is blown. 3 teams I will never root for, the Cubs, Red Sox , and the Nationals.  One of my good friends sometimes sings the National Anthem for the Nationals but I can’t bring myself to root for them.

In just over a week will be my birthday again. They seem to come around even if you don’t care.  This year I will celebrate it with a friend from church whose birthday is also June 4th. He is 18 but he said he would be happy to do that with me. Now to save some money and figure out where we both want to go.

May the Lord be with you all.   Ben C.

A short move and big ideas.

It looks like I went through April and didn’t write anything. I get to a point in the Holiday months where I seem to say the same thing even though it might be different words.  I don’t need to tell any one that reads this what Resurrection Sunday is about. We all know His sacrifice and His over coming death for our sake. We just went through a week of heavy rain and some flooding. We have seen small areas of our local towns get flooded. Homes and businesses flooded and we have heard of people losing their lives because of it. I ask that we remember them in our prayers for the weeks to come. Pray for them when God prompts it in your heart. Most have heard of the wind and snow that Kansas, Oklahoma, and the Panhandle of Texas received. Up to a foot of snow in some places. Well it is warming up this week into the 60s  and 70s. That means they may have flooding also but hopefully it will soak into the ground or at least most of it. They truly need the moisture.

I have moved from one apartment to another on the same property.  It took me all of last week between showers to move and clean my small place. 15 minutes of work then 20 minutes of resting my back. My daughter Hannah did most of the moving on Monday. She was truly a blessing last week. I want to think Ray Hines for the massage after church. Again his fingers helped relieve pain I was in.

I want to teach or at least share my thoughts in church one of these Sundays. I don’t have anything truly new to say but I feel like I need too some day soon. Of course that will take preparing and that is something I am not used to doing.  Pastor Dave will not let me until I have a good out line and I truly understand that. I think my biggest problem will be holding my emotions back. It is hard to get a point across if I am weeping or shaking.  I won’t be scared or stage fright will not be a problem but my emotions could be. I truly want to share the good things Jesus is showing me.


Ben C.


Other things.

This past week was spring break. For some that was putting up with the kids for a week. For others it was vacation to other places. To some it was a time to have your spouse at home unstressed by work. Which ever it was I hope it was a delight.  For me it was the most boring time in months. The Literacy Council where I tutor was closed, No classes to go to.  Second no small group to attend.  I understand why but it made for a long week. I wasn’t even able to meet with Dave my prayer buddy.  If it wasn’t for March Madness I think I would have gone mad.

Now this week wasn’t a complete bust. Friday at the Walmart Neighborhood Market I got to see Kamerlee.  She was a true tutor student of mine. Back then she was in the 3rd grade and I was helping with her reading. Well I fell head over heels for this cute little girl. I have been praying since she moved to Garfield that I would run into her at Walmart some day. Her grand parents live in Siloam. She had spent the week with them and was doing grocery shopping. Her big infectious smile made my heart burst with joy.  She and the Lord made my month and I told her so.  The second thing happened Sunday. I got to see my grand daughter for the second time. She lives in Springdale. She is a senior in high school and she has a brother 15 that I haven’t seen yet.  I can’t go into details because my fingers would wear out and if you are reading this you would get bored. If you see me and have an hour and are curious we can talk.  So maybe the week wasn’t that bad after all. It ended on a great high side.
Thanks BEN C.


For the last several months I have been watching on Neflix a British Detective  series called Foyle’s  War. It took some getting used to but I have found it most entertaining and a learning experience.  This series was set in W W 2. A man named Micheal Kitchen is the lead Character. If a cop show for you has to have car chases, half naked women, and a shoot out, this will not be your cup of tea. I won’t go too any detail but to say you have to be smart and have a good ear to figure out who is the bad person or persons.  I have learned it is no longer in production because Mr. Kitchen wants to take a break. Whether that means his retirement or just a break from that show I am not sure.  What you will find is clean entertainment with a curse word thrown to make it an adult show and brains to work the cases.  But another reason I enjoy it is the time it is set. It starts right after the war has started and works it way through the war. It shows the high spirits of the Brits at the beginning, the suffering during the blitz. The agony of losing home, loved ones and how different people dealt with these issues.  Issues that probably we have heard about but really have never felt or known. At least I haven’t. Maybe our parents went through shortages and our mothers and fathers or grand parents went to war or did their part but New York or L.A. was never bombed and Brooklyn or  Bangor Maine was never wiped out. It shows the strength, weakness and how some took advantage  of the mess they went through. I am not saying they are stronger than we are but they did suffer more because it hit home.

I am not finished with the series but I think I will start the last season Monday night. All through the series we meet soldiers that are trying to adjust to first the so called phony war. Every one saying and hoping the war will be short. Mostly good spirits and trying to adjust to the life given them.  I don’t mean to rattle on but what I am trying to say it is a very good show about human nature. It shows how and why people act the way they do in crisis,  including children. It shows people of faith in God. People who have lost their faith, con men trying to make money from selling goods at very high prices to those who have never been good. This last show I did was about the last several days and hours of the war and how people had to live through the horror they saw or had to do.  We all know people that went to Vietnam, or the the wars of the Middle East. We have even seen on tv or movies about the damaged ones coming home. I am not talking necessarily those with wounds we can see. But many more are damaged or hurt by what they have seen and done.  To be honest not until the last several years have I  really even come close to understanding any one with a Stress Syndrome. But again I haven’t been close to anyone with it or at least I don’t know of any. Ben being in his shell or just being lucky.

I start as I said the last season and looking forward to them. I hope Mr. Kitchen will reconsider and make a few more.

Thanks Ben