November 2 and in a Quandary

Big word and I had to look it up how to spell it. The quandary is that my mind is at a stand still for this blog. Many of you may be doing flips now but I will get something out. Many things I could write on but I don’t want to rehash old trash. Things I will not write on is Trump and the Russian connection. I don’t have a clue one way or the other and my speculation would be no better than Fox or CNN.  I would like to say he had no knowledge. There still is no proof that he did. Could this bring him down. I think yes if he had prior knowledge. But I honestly don’t think he would do such a stupid thing. Hate him or like him you must say he is not stupid. Is Putin behind this  maybe but I am not sure why except to find out if he could do it. I don’t think Trump and Putin are such friends that he could get any special favors that would help Russia. Clinton would not stop him from doing anything.  I honestly think she hasn’t a clue what has been going on. But yes I am prejudice in this.  If he is guilty, then I would have no problems with Pence as president.

Well since I didn’t write about that then I might mention the upcoming SCOTUS case with the baker. Again not sure how this will work out.If the court had more true Christians on the court and not just in name only then the baker would  be a shoe in. Now what I am about to say sounds mean and hateful but I really don’t mean it to be. Every one on the Court are highly intelligent and very good lawyers. But this does not mean the baker will get a fair trial. The reason I say this I am afraid the court will look at this case as one like the 60’s civil rights trials. The 3 Jews I am sure will. But this is not the case. This not a matter of a cake not being sold to a homosexual. This is a matter of sin. Our Christian faith has a few things we should not do. One is not to help with sin. That is not give alcohol to a drunk, give money to a gambler, to help a man or woman cheat on a spouse. All sins. Helping in any way in a homosexual marriage is a sin. Whether it be a florist, preacher, photographer or a baker.  That is not denying them getting married nor is it denying them something like was done to the blacks.  If you disagree that is your privilege but I really think I am correct. Gorsuch and Thomas may know what I am talking about but I am not sure about any one else. They maybe conservative but they have little knowledge what the Bible says. Is that important? Very much so. Christianity is based on such ideas.

Halloween, like most kids I got a kick out of trick or treating. The things I remember are my first memory is my sisters dressing me as a girl. I was probably 5 and I hated every minute of it. Not even the candy helped. Second is always going with little brother Tom.  But that wasn’t really different than any other thing I did. If he could, he went along. I was never invited to any ones party and it hurt some back then but now I don’t really care. I know by the time I was too old to trick and treat the parties were pretty lame I did go too.

When I was in college we had a few good parties, at least they were fun.   But now I truly despise it. Nothing happened to me but the more I think about it the more useless it is. I am not here trying to get any one to change their minds on anything. It is the way I feel. Back to when I was a child one of the big deals of Halloween was the dumping of an out house at the blinking stop light down on the corner. Some years it was even set on fire. I don’t think they ever got caught. I have my guesses on who were the bad dudes were but they are just guesses.   Well I am going to end this quandary and maybe write some stuff later on.





Well I finally broke down and rented the DVD. It took me about 30 minutes to really get into the movie.  I kept on thinking of what was the underneath theme of the movie. What was truly going on  was my mind was looking for subtle political messages some where.  Hey it didn’t have one. It wasn’t a me vs you or me against the world movie. This was truly a movie about people. People that is like me and you.  No, we don’t break into song and dance on interstate 49. But haven’t you ever wanted to. I have. Yes it is more likely we honk or yell at the person that almost hit us, but there are those times when the right song is playing that we wish we could get out and start a sing along. Well at least I do.

It also dealt with fears and wants or needs that we all have.  To go for what we think we want to do. A few of us got to try for those dreams. Some of you had those dreams met. Whether it is teaching. starting your own business, being a nurse, being an artist of some sort and living the dream. But for some of us it didn’t work out that way.  It didn’t for me. I wanted to coach basketball. I wanted to be as good as my coach in high school, Loyd Jones.  But it wasn’t to be. I went to ATU in Russellville and gave it a shot. Well I wasn’t ready or prepared for college. Not PGHS fault.  It was all mine. So was it a bust. No far from it. I met people at Tech I will always call friends. I met Christian brothers and sisters that I love deeply.

This is not supposed to be my life story, sorry but I thought about this watching the movie. I did get to coach basketball. I never won any championships but I had some good teams. I think I made the grade school and junior high boys improve from the first time we met to the end of the season.

I never got to teach any PE classes but I am teaching. I am teaching adults how to read and speak English. I have been doing it for 7 years now. I have enjoyed every minute of it. I think I do a good job and have made some good relationships from it. Hispanics, Mong, and people that were born and raised in the US. I have even helped a 3rd grader with her reading. That was truly rewarding.

What I am trying to say is that life treats us in ways that we most of the time deserve. Good or bad. That sounds mean but it is true in my life. Sometimes we get things thrown at us we never asked for or wanted.  Either we grow and deal with it or we fold and make things worse. Now that overcoming or giving up not only affects me or you it always touches those around us. I have had close friends die to early. I had a son die at 16 from cancer. I have gone through a divorce and had have gone through depression. The one constant in my life has been God. I praise Him for the good and now I have learned to praise Him when things are not so good. No brag, not always easy but it is something I want to do. He always deserves it.

Back to LALA LAND, it didn’t end with the really great happy ending that maybe we think it should have. But each got the dream fulfilled. Maybe not the way they thought it would or even should have but they did come true.  Thanks for reading. Comments always welcome.

Why I Hunt and Fish Alone

I love to fish and hunt. I will happily go with any one. Novice, beginner  or old pro. It is very fun to share a good time. Share the fishing stories or deer tales about the antlers that got away.

But now you want to know why I don’t do more of that.  2 reasons. First not many can go when I can. I am a spur of the moment type person. I get the urge and most of the time I go. Morning, or afternoon. If I need to take a lunch or drinks [tea] I will.  I can get up at 6 a.m. or leave at 2 p,m.

The other reason I go by myself is all the stupidity and clumsiness that goes on in my life. I am talking about walking through the woods and trying to be quiet when I trip and my crossbow goes one way and my body goes another. I don’t run into trees but stumps, loose rocks, thick vine roots seek me out.  Now I just wait till daylight and cock my bow when I get to my blind. Safer and I am not scared of breaking a leg. Ever notice when falling down it always seems like a movie slow motion. The other bad habit I have is going out of my blind at the wrong time. I mean I can sit for 2 hours with minimum movement and not see or hear anything but that gray squirrel that always shows up. I get up either to move a few yards or move something I have down that I think must be in a bad spot. Well I get out and set my bow down for 10 seconds and I will hear the snort or see the white flag jumping from tree to tree.

Now fishing isn’t so dangerous but I have 2 small tackle boxes.  I grab them, my 2 poles, bass, and catfish, and plus my chair. After dropping a pole, a box and then my chair every 10 yards, one at a time, I soon put some of them down and come back for them.  Next is finding the right spot. Very little weeds or logs, deep water, and a flat place to sit. Again making sure there are no rocks or roots I am sitting on. Next comes the getting the lines and poles ready to cast. After being dropped at least once the lines can be wrapped around the pole and the hooks must be found. I haven’t hooked myself putting on bait in years but they seem to come for me before the line is unwrapped. After I get the lines ready I cast. Hopefully it  goes in the direction I want. The worst is casting, the line hangs up, and then wraps around my pole again. It happens. Too much. Finally I get it out near where I want it. I wait, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes. I reel it in and either the bait is gone or just as bad, it is still there. I cast again hoping it will go where I want it.  I get a bite, I get excited. another bite and I get ready to jerk. Nothing. I reel in, no bait.  I do every thing again. Again waiting.

While waiting, I get my other reel ready. Put on the artificial bait I want and throw it out. It never moved.  I try again. Again I throw it out.  Nothing.  I check my line, it doesn’t move. I push the button 3 more times. Finally it moves. I pull it out a few feet by hand. Reel it up and cast. I duck as the lure and hook fly past my ear. I start to curse and get mad when my my other pole takes a big bend.  I rush over and jerk. I have something. It is heavy. I reel in the best I can. I get it near the shore and it is a huge snapping turtle. I can’t get the hook out. I cut the line.  I then go over to my other pole. I check the line again, 20 feet this time. I get everything set and throw it out. I get it where I want, [ close any how]. I start bring in the line and get a bite. I jerk and seem to have caught something.  I get it close to shore and everything stops.  I jerk hard. I jerk had again. The  hook goes flying past my ear.  I am going to stop here but you get my drift. I don’t mind you laughing at me reading this. It beats you laughing at me in person holding your big bass.




Today is August first. 17 years ago Marc went to be with Jesus. I don’t think I could add to any more than I have said in the past. So I am going to leave it today, Though I will never forget.

We have all seen the babies and toddlers dance and move to music. It is quite entertaining, funny, and sometimes missing the days when we could boogie. This probably isn’t news to you but God put the the joy of music inside of us. All of us. Dancing and singing. It is something we all meant to do. Well Ben you say I can’t hit a note or I have 2 left feet. SO WHAT. We are meant to sing and dance. The Psalms say we only have to make a joyful noise. We have the loud clanging cymbal. Our feet can worship him any time they move for Him. Now I will never get in front of a crowd and try to sing Amazing Grace. I want people to stick around not leave.  I have danced unto the Lord many times. From college to today. The churches I have been in thought it was great. I am not saying I am a Fred Astaire, nope I am not, but I do dance as David danced. It is fun. My stenosis doesn’t always let me do it as often or as long as I want but I still do it.

This is not a push to get any one to sing in church or dance in church but I am saying it should be a praise and a worship all can do. Even if only in the privacy of our homes.

Thank you for your love and prayers, BEN C.

The Light

1 JOHN 1:7  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Most all of us have read or heard these words at sometime or another. Now at times it can sound very complicated, maybe even strange. But if you try to put it into simple terms such as we need to walk as Jesus wants us to walk then it isn’t hard to really grasp. The times we mess up is when we fellowship with one another. Because if we look at the outside then we wonder where their light is. We have it in us where are theirs. The BIG little word is in. Inside where it can only be felt by us. But we must  try to show that light to others so we can fellowship. Sometimes that means opening up to others and being vulnerable. But again that light will protect us. Rarely have I ever opened up to a brother and have been hurt. I have also learned to be open and be a  safe person to talk too. Now that isn’t really bragging as it sounds. I have learned from Jesus and close brothers and sisters that being a safe person is only risky if you quit being safe. Keep those secrets, don’t tell your best friend what you were told.  Pray continually for you and the person that shared with you.

Second on my heart, is the darkness of the world outside of Jesus.  As I have stated before I am on Yahoo, a lot, reading the news stories and certain internet magazines. I like commenting and sharing my views. I have learned several things about others on the net and about myself. I can’t do much about the others except share the truth. But that is a place where I have trouble. You see I get caught up in the garbage also and I have done some name calling. No cursing but still name calling. That is not light but stupidity on my part. I have come to a point where I want to share Jesus but also do His work. That is not done by me calling a person a fool. Whether they are or not. These are not brothers in the Lord but atheist,  homosexuals, and sometimes Muslims.  I have to learn to turn the other cheek. I am getting better about that with people I love and care about but not so easy with strangers on the internet. I cannot be a light commenting on the net. I can share truth. But I don’t think I can shine the light of Jesus. Now that means I need to be a light to those around me. Whether or not they know Jesus. Whether they are atheist, Muslim or a homosexual.  It means being open to their needs and be willing to share, help, and sometimes sacrifice for them.

1 hour ago I had nothing on my mind to share. Watching a movie that I really like about a certain hobbit whose initials are F B. It hit me to write.  I have a lot to learn, about Jesus of course but I think I still am learning about myself. Good and bad.

Feel free to comment. I can take it.  BEN C.

At what cost.

These past few days I have been madder than a stirred up hornet. Not any one has done anything to me but what I read what happened to some parents in England and the commenters that have said dumb and hateful things about these parents has got my dander up.

They had a 10 month old child born with a very rare and always fatal disease. I couldn’t spell it now but if you look up the story, you can find out what it is. What made me mad was some bureaucrats in England said this child was not worth the money to send to the US to get experimental treatment. It may have been too little too late but no one will ever know now.  Second part, the hospital told the parents he should die with dignity. Then they denied him going home to die. This really burns me.  I know what is is to have a son severely stricken with a disease. I know what it cost and what doctors can and cannot do. I lost Marc at 16 to cancer. He could have tried experimental treatments but he had gone through 2 1/2 years of chemo, radiation, and a 17 hour operation. The treatment would be more used as a treatment for others down the road. He had little chance. He said no. Everything in me said to try but I was not the one being tortured by all this ” helping” treatment. We took Marc home and a few weeks later he was gone.

Now the part that gets me riled up. So many people throw off life as though it has a $ sign to it. This person isn’t worth more than this amount of money. Garbage. every life is worth any amount of gold or diamonds. People will yell about a puppy or a wild animal and expect millions to be shelled out but not for a sick person. NO MORE TAX DOLLARS.  BS is what I say to all of them.  I know I am hollering in the wrong direction on here and not one of you have upset me. I just needed this to vent out of my system.  Maybe now I can fall to sleep. Take care. If for some reason you disagree with me on this point. Better not say anything to me about it.

Ben C


For the greater good.

A person usually hears those word on a movie or reading a book. To be honest I am not sure if I have been told those words in person.  If now I heard them I would probably look into their eyes and call them a liar. When those words are used it is usually in either a crime movie or a war movie.  Hopefully fiction. But it isn’t always fiction is it. How many hundreds of thousands of times has it been used through out history.  I guess you could say it started in the Garden. What lie did the serpent tell Eve? Go ahead it won’t kill you. It is for the better. So I guess we all have tried to do something along that line sometime in life. It boils down to selfishness.  When it comes to that can any of us say we are not guilty. I can’t.

Joseph was thrown in the pit and sold to slave traders for the his brothers selfish acts. The Pharaoh tried to kill all the male Hebrew children for the greater good of Egypt. Ramses tried to kill all the first born when Moses was an adult for the greater good.

King Saul did not obey the Lord and spared a king and queen plus the herds of cows and sheep for the greater good. God then told Samuel to find another king.

Herod the great killed the babes 2 years and younger for the greater good. His son Herod Antipas locked up John the Baptist for the greater good. Some say Judas betrayed Jesus for the greater good of Israel. That was surly the reason the Jewish leaders wanted him dead. And Pilate didn’t want a riot so he sent Him to the cross.

I could go on through out history telling of the lies people told themselves that their heinous ideas was for the better good. Probably every war in history was based on such lies.

Yes it is still happening every where we turn. The lbgt people think they are trying to force their life style every where for their greater good. I could put down several paragraphs about them alone but I won’t. Blm, KKK,ACLU, southern poverty law system, and of course the right to choose group, are all doing it for the greater good.

Well I have found only one that was selfless. His name was Jesus and his act of great kindness and love was for the better good of the whole world. But satan still has a strangle hold on many. Selfishness is still the rule of the earth sad to say. But we must spread the love, joy, and TRUTH that Jesus said to tell the world. It won’t always be accepted and many will hate us for it. But that is one of the main parts of our lives we must do.  It was a command.

So am I done ranting. for tonight but I was awakened in my soul to put this out. I am not pointing a finger at any of you just telling what is on my heart.  Ben